A Zenful Guide of Letting Go of Fear and Shame
While many of us do our best to try and control our feelings, letting go of fear and shame is difficult. This isn’t always as simple as seems. There are some emotions that are so powerful that they can disrupt your everyday life and make it difficult for you to do even the simplest of everyday activities.
These emotions are fear and shame.
No matter how self-assured and confident you may be, fear and shame are powerful feelings that can seep in. And what is worse, these are just fleeting feelings or emotions, they are emotions that can be really difficult to let go of.
Sometimes, these feelings are so all-encompassing and so powerful, we don’t even realize they are there. Fear and shame can manifest by:
- Making us feel unhappy about our appearance
- Causing feelings or procrastination or lack of focus
- Getting in the way of our ability to exercise, eat or take care of ourselves
- Preventing us from meditating, writing or journaling in the way we want to—and feeling shame around those failures
- Causing us to feel shameful over the state of our relationships
- Makings us feel “off” or disconnected with our lives
- Causing us to feel depressed, anxious or unmotivated about our lives.
Fear and shame can also cause stress, anxiety and make us feel less confident. They can impact our friendships, relationships and our work lives. These sensations can creep into our subconscious and be almost impossible to get rid of.
Sometimes we don’t even realize this is happening, and sometimes we let this fear and shame get hold us back from taking action or doing what we want.
Fear and shame can get in the way of our happiness and in the way of our ability to live the lives we want.
So what should we do about it?
But while it can be difficult to separate yourself from the overwhelming feelings of fear and shame—it isn’t impossible to let them go completely. You just need to know how to do it and you just need to know how to have the right mental state.
This Zenful guide to letting go of fear and shame will teach you to be more mindful of your feelings and to use that mental prowess to finally let go of fear and shame in a way that will really help you moving forward.
Imagine what your life would be without fear and without shame. A lot of things would be different, and better, in your life.
You would have more peace, more confidence and be more trusting of yourself and of others. And the first step to getting a life like this is to learn how to let go.
How to Let Go
No matter what we do, or how much we want to avoid fear and shame—they are going to creep up into our lives. We can work on ourselves and meditate daily, but it is not going to prevent these feelings from occurring.
But we can learn to let go of fear and shame when they do happen.
The first thing you should be doing regularly, before you ever find yourself facing these feelings—is practicing your mindful meditation. Whether you meditate in the mornings, in the evenings or as you walk to work, the more mindful you are, the easier the process of letting go will be.
Here’s how to be mindful of these feelings, address them and then let them go.
- Address the situation. The first step in letting go of fear and shame is to address what you are dealing with. Take notice of fear and shame—do not judge these feelings just observe that they are there. This is where your mindfulness practice will come in.
Remember, fear and shame are just feelings, they are nothing to hate or feel bad about or get angry about.
- Think about the why behind your feelings. Now that you have addressed and become aware of your feelings, take a deeper dive into your sensations. Are you uncertain because you feel as though you aren’t living up to certain expectations you or someone else has? Do you have fear from a lack of trust or stability?
- Separate yourself from these feelings. Now that you have recognized where your fear and shame is coming from and what is causing it—it is time to start loosening yourself from this sensation. Start to separate yourself from these feelings. Imagine yourself without them and what your life looks like without feeling this way.
- Practice life without these sensations. You have envisioned a life without fear and shame, or perhaps even imagined it in your meditation sessions—now it is time to put this vision to life. Move around in your world without fear. Talk to people in your life without shame. The feelings are still going to be buried deep down, but if you pretend to cast them aside, you can see for yourself what life is like without them.
Think of this as faking it until you make it. Try on a life without fear and shame. See how different you are and what actions you take without these feelings. The more you “practice” with this separation, the easier it will be for you to let go of these feelings completely.
So, next time you find yourself feeling depressed, overwhelmed, stressed or down on yourself. Determine if it is fear and shame kicking in and then take the time to determine whether you are really facing fear and shame.
It won’t be easy. But the more you practice and the more you remember your foundations of mindful meditation—the easier it will be. If you can address these feelings and work on letting go, it can end up changing your life for the better.