How to Deal With Manipulative People
While many of us can have our own manipulative tendencies dealing with manipulative people can be tough, particularly when we are looking to get something that we want—there are certain people who simply are manipulative at their core. And when these manipulative individuals are having a negative impact on your life—it is important that you know how to deal with them.
This guide will help you not only determine if you are dealing with a manipulative person put help you learn how to deal with them.
How to Identify Manipulative People
This guide will help you learn how to deal with manipulative people, whether you have to do with them at work, in social settings or even in your family.
However, the most difficult thing about dealing with manipulative individuals starts with spotting these manipulative individuals. What makes manipulative individuals so dangerous is that they are obviously operating under some type of guise. Remember, manipulative people are out there to disguise their interests as yours.
It can be difficult to tell when you are being manipulated, particularly when the person doing the manipulating is a close friend, co-worker or family member.
Below are a few signs that someone may be trying to manipulate you.
They Insist You Speak First
This is an old yet effective strategy that many manipulative people use. They will let you speak your mind first to get a better idea of your thoughts, strengths and weaknesses—then they will use this to coerce you.
They Use Charm
It’s much harder to say “no” to someone who has charmed you or complimented you. Pay attention to people who only do or act nice in order to get their goals met.
They Blame Others
Manipulative people always have an excuse for why things are the way they are. They will convince you something is your fault instead of theirs, or have a built in excuse for why they are never to blame when something goes wrong.
They Use a Guilt Trip
Not only do many manipulative people fail to accept blame for anything, but they commonly use guilt trips to make you feel bad about a situation they are in. It is easy to feel guilty or anxious about these situations—and it can ultimately cause you to act in a way that isn’t in your best interest.
Of course, while these are all important signs to look for—the best tool you have is your own intuition. If you feel as though someone may be manipulating you, it may be wise to trust your gut.
Six Strategies for Dealing With Manipulative People
Identifying a manipulative person is the first step in dealing with the manipulative individuals in your life. However, there are other things that you can do in order to make sure these manipulative individuals stop interfering with your quality of life.
1. Remember What Your Greater Purpose Is
One of the main reasons that manipulators are able to prevail in this world is because a lot of people don’t know what it is they are working for.
They don’t know why they are in their career, they don’t know what purpose they have and they don’t have perspective on what really matters.
If you have a greater sense of purpose in your life then you can stay focused on what you need to do and what you need to accomplish, so that others can’t misguide or distract you away from your goals. This is a way to stay focused on what you want, not on what the manipulator wants.
2. Don’t Try to Fit In
Manipulative people typically target those who they feel like they can easily manipulate. If you are constantly trying to fit in and seek approval, you are only making yourself a target for a manipulative person.
Show others that you do what you want and that you are not afraid to be different. This will not only help you be more confident in yourself, but it will help you avoid manipulators.
Remember, those who manipulate are expecting you to act the same every time—they are expecting you to act consistent so they can easily manipulate you and move their agenda forward, so stop giving them the opportunity to do this.
3. Trust Your Judgement
Don’t go around and ask other people what to do if you think that you are being manipulated by someone—other people’s opinions will not help you.
You need to believe in yourself and trust your own judgement. If you feel as though someone is doing wrong by you, then they probably are.
Having confidence will help you determine whether the manipulative person in your life is trying to get you to do what they want or what you want to do.
4. Don’t Engage
Ignore the manipulative people in your life. They want to try to engage you in as much of a discussion, conflict or argument that they can. This is how they get the upper-hand.
Start by ignoring everything they do and say. Don’t try to correct them.
If you try to correct a manipulative person, you are only doing what they want and only giving them an opportunity to influence your actions. They are going to try to use confusion and frustration to get your emotional—don’t let them do that
5. Cut Them Out Cold Turkey
This one can be difficult, and in certain situations even impossible, depending on who is manipulating you—but sometimes a cold turkey approach is the best.
If you have ignored what they say and that doesn’t work, consider just cutting them out from your life all together. It can be hard, and at times impossible (i.e. if it is your coworker) but the more you distance yourself from this person the better off you will be.
Otherwise, you will continue to spend your time acting in their best interest instead of yours and not doing what you need to do for yourself.
Manipulative people can be all around us—and they can easily sway you in the wrong direction if you aren’t careful. However, if you keep these tips in mind so that you can spot and ultimately deal with these manipulative individuals, you will only be better for it in the end.