How to Let Go : The Zenful Approach
How to Let Go
“Let it go.” Those three annoying words that we all tend to hear right when we are at our most stressed. It is a piece of advice that people often hear time and time again, and one that while seemingly repetitive, is worth listening to.
While it can seem very difficult and sometimes even impossible to let things go when they stress us out, it is so important that you try to take this piece of common advice and do your best to let things go when they get you down. Easier said, than done.
Letting go is such an important part of life and an important part of building your own self-worth. Letting go can be as simple as letting go of your stress during a heated moment, or letting go of hidden, deep feelings that you have been holding on to for a long time.
Holding on to your past hurt will never fix anything, so you need to let it go. However, many times we find a strange sense of comfort in holding on to our pain. In fact, research shows that many people hold on to their pain because they think those feelings are part of their identity and who they are.
However, while it is hard to learn how to let things go, it can be possible, with the right approach and a few practical tips.
How to Let Go In Your Relationships
There are very few things that can cause us pain quite like our relationships with others, especially when those relationships turn sour. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t put yourself out there and shouldn’t try to develop new relationships. You should. However, these tips will help make sure that they don’t get in your way in the end.
- Accept the fact that the relationships you thought you were going to have will likely be different than the ones you actually have. Things never really go as planned, and that is alright. You need to have a real understanding of who you are and your role in the relationships you are in and you can let go of your expectation and improve the actual relationship.
- Let go of the idea of controlling others in your relationships. The only thing that you can control is yourself and how you act. This means letting go of a need to please. You don’t have to do everything for everyone just because you think it will lead to a better relationship.
- Be careful of your expectations with others. Having too high of expectations for someone typically only leads to disappointment. Remember, if someone doesn’t live up to these expectations, you need to respond appropriately and learn to let it go.
- Learn to forgive. Forgiveness can be so difficult, but it is also very important. You need to learn to be able to forgive. If you hold on to resentment, you are only keeping yourself locked in your past. Instead, forgive others, even if they have wronged you so that you can move forward. You don’t have to forgive “for them” you can forgive for yourself.
Relationships are important, but they aren’t worth ruining or damaging your life. Keep these tips in mind in order to learn how to let go of the negativity that others cause you, so that you can focus on yourself and what you need to make you happy.
How to Let Go With Yourself
Relationships are an important part of anyone’s life, but the most important relationship that you have is the one with yourself. While you should be able to let things go with other people, you should also be able to let things go internally with yourself as well.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. Most people who can’t let go of things do. Life is unpredictable and quite a journey. Sometimes there are ups and sometimes there are downs. Relax and enjoy the ride—and learn to laugh at yourself while you’re at it.
- Only worry about your own opinion. So many people are so worried about what others think of themselves. The only person’s opinion you should worry about is your own opinion of yourself.
- Accept what you can’t change. There are certain things in life you can change, especially when it has to do with your own actions. Don’t wish things could be the way they once worse. You can’t go back in time.
- Do things that scare you. There is no better way to push yourself out of your comfort zone and push yourself to start letting things go, than to start pushing yourself in general. If you begin doing things that would normally scare you, it can really change your perspective on life and on changing the way you do things.
- Express yourself. Letting go is all about having confidence in yourself, and in who you are and what you want. In order to do this, you need to be able to express yourself and communicate to others who you are and what you want.
- Know that it is alright to feel negative emotions. Don’t try to ignore negative emotions. This causes many people to suppress their real feelings and causes them to hold on to issues they may not even realize they had. Part of letting go is all about being open and honest, and it starts with knowing it is alright to feel negative thoughts and feelings sometimes.
Your relationship with yourself is important and learning to let go is all about respecting and honoring that relationship.
Self-Care Tips That Can Help You Learn How to Let Go
In addition to knowing “how” to let go, or that you need to let go, you also need to be able to learn how to do things for yourself. When you practice self-care, and work to better your mind, body and spirit, it will only help you master the art of difficult tasks such as learning to let go.
Activities such as this are designed to help you find the balance and peace-of-mind that you need in order to really be able to let things go. Reading about it and knowing what you have to do is only half the battle.
Consider starting the following activities, they can help you get in the right mindset, and practice the self-acceptance that you need in order to learn how to let things go.
- Meditation– The ancient art of meditation, particularly mindful meditation, can teach you how to be more self-aware and to learn how to accept things as they come. With regular meditation, you will find you no longer dwell in the past or focus on the things that you cannot change.
- Breathing exercises. You may not be in to fully practicing meditation, but breathing exercises are a great place to start. This can teach you to find a sense of clam and balance amidst the chaos of your life and really start to let things go.
- Exercise- There is nothing quite like the feeling of getting out and exercising. It is something that you should be doing just for yourself. It will help you clear your mind, release endorphins that improve your mood and help you get rid of that built-up stress that can really bring you down.
- Yoga– While exercise is important, yoga deserves a category of its own. Particularly Yin Yoga. This practice is good for the mind and the body and promote meditative practices. If you want to let go of the stress that is bringing you down, then Yin Yoga is the way to do it.
- Talking to Someone- Whether you prefer a friend or a therapist, if you find that you are struggling with letting things go, it is often helpful to start talking to someone. Bottling things up and keeping them inside will only make your tendency to hold on to things worse.
Remember, the art of letting go is all about doing things that will improve your life and who you are. Taking care of yourself is all part of this. The more you do to learn to let things go in your relationship with others and your relationship with yourself and the more you are able to focus on you, the better off your entire life will be.